Thankfully

Here we are, another major holiday and no referral.  Honestly lately I have lost hope.  It feels like it's forever away and like it's even a waste of time to think about it, but the longer time goes on, the less I can not think about it. 

But thankfully I am not going this alone.  First and foremost, God is in the middle of this.  I know He's got this.  I know He's in control.  I know He knows what's going to happen and He's got the whole thing planned out, even before we were on board with it He did.  And I know that He has a purpose even in the wait, so I can have peace even now, even though it's super tough and I just want the waiting part to be done.

I'm also super thankful for the support of Chris.  His father heart is aching for his daughter just like my heart is, and I know he is thinking about her and wishing he could see her soon.  He is the one person I feel like I will always have support from, no matter what my feelings are that day.  I love that he's with me in this, we're a team, probably more than ever before! 

And our kids.  They process this adoption very differently, but I know they think about their sister and wonder what it will be like when she's home with us.  They all acknowledge that they have another sister, even though they don't even know who she is yet.  They are excited and that makes me excited!

Baby girl, we miss you and we all love you.  And I know I say this every, every holiday (and that won't stop!), but we are hoping and praying with everything we have that you are here next Thanksgiving with us!

Crazy pink hair

There is always a crazy hair night at AWANA at our church.  This year Preston and Ashten didn't really want to participate (I don't blame them, I never did silly stuff like that either!) and Brayden wanted to wear his mohawk hat.  Good, 3 down, 1 to go!! 

Logan wanted to shave his head bald.  And I really would have let him except that we had family pictures in a week and a half and I wanted him to have some hair for that.  I tried to talk him into all kinds of other things.  I offered to go get that hair spray paint at Sally's or shave a design in the back of his head (where it wouldn't be visible in our family pictures) or let him wear Ashten's pink wig.  He immediately shot all my ideas down, he was dead set on a shaved head.  I was about to just give in (because really it's not that big of a deal and if he really wants a shaved head to be silly and goofy at church, who cares?) because you gotta choose your battles, you know?

But then, hallelujah, he decided to go with the pink wig!!!!!!  I think he rocked it and he got all kinds of good attention from it at church, which was his original intent I think, so he was happy!

Never mind my electric green kitchen - it doesn't photograph
well.  But trust me, that's not the true color.

 

That's my silly Logan boy!

Ashten's first (written) words

A few mornings ago, Ashten woke up before I was done with my quiet time.  As usual, she was kind of groggy and grumpy, so she wanted to sit on my lap while I finished up.  I always have my Bible out and a spiral notebook, since I like to journal or write out prayers while I'm studying my Bible.  So, after a few minutes of watching me, Ashten wanted to get out her spiral notebook and "write" too. 

Ashten has never really gone through the "drawing" phase.  You know that phase that toddlers go through where they scribble on a page with markers or crayons in big, curvy lines and call it an elephant (or whatever)?  Ashten never really did that, she has always written in pen or pencil tiny little marks mostly between the lines, and I think it's because she sees her brothers writing and wants to imitate them. 

So back to the other morning.  She was writing while I was trying to focus and finish up my devotions and she asked me the letters for mom.  So I told her "M-O-M" and next thing I know, she has written them out.  Except she had to write it twice because the first time she said it looked more like M-P-M. 

 

I wanted to see if she could write her name.  I know she knows what all the letters look like by recognition and she knows how to spell her name, so I told her to give it a shot.  I had to coach a little bit (her A looked more like an H at first since she didn't connect it at the top), but for the most part, she wrote this all by herself!

 

I'm so proud of my little 3-year-old writer!!

Efficient Parenting

I ran across this article the other day and it was such an "ouch" moment for me.  I am a list-maker.  I keep a list of things I need to get done each week, a list of things we need at the grocery or Sam's or Target, a list of meals for the week, a list of blog post ideas, etc.  I will most often judge the success of my day based on how much is left on my to-do list at the end of it, sadly.  I like to be efficient, often priding myself on how much I am able to get done in a day, even with 4 kids at home.

This quote from the article really challenged me to change my thinking:

Checking off tasks as “done” isn’t the best way to gauge a day’s success because, more often than not, good parenting isn’t about efficiency.

It’s not that to-do lists aren’t important or useful. It’s that sometimes the best thing to do is to take the time to truly connect with our children.

The best moms are those who sometimes take a step back from all those items begging to be completed to spend time reading with their kids. The best dads {and moms} are those who understand they have to stop looking down at their smartphone and start looking into their kids’ eyes.

Those special moments of togetherness are what kids will remember and cherish. It’s the times of carefree laughter, learning and affection that will stay with them and let them know they’re valued.

Since reading that article over a week ago, I have really tried to be intentional about shifting my focus from my to-do list to my family.  Sure, there are times when laundry HAS to be done or dinner HAS to be made, and all those things are good to do, but when they consistently take priority over my children, then we've got a problem. 

Preston had been begging to teach me how to play chess every day for a week.  Now, granted, he always asked at like the worst times: right before bedtime, right before we had to leave for school, etc, but I kept saying "not right now, Preston, I/we have to ___________".  It went on like this for about a week.  I felt bad continually saying no to him, but I justified it with my to-do list.  But one night, I finally put aside the things I needed to do and sat down with him and he taught me chess.  It wasn't about the game (because I don't really enjoy chess), but sitting down and doing something with Preston that he was excited about really was great. 

This morning Brayden was having a really rough morning.  Everything upset him and he had a short fuse.  I was doing my best to remain calm and not get mad at him, but it's hard.  I chalk most of it up to him being a preteen, but I can't really say for sure since he's our first preteen!  Right before we were leaving for school, he said "mom, you know what would really make my day better?  If you would come meet me for lunch!"  My first reaction (thankfully not out loud) was annoyance.  Ugh, I have so much to do today and I wasn't even planning on putting on makeup or getting dressed, just hanging out at home and doing laundry and cooking and cleaning.  But then I thought, "okay, Gloria, the whole reason you stay home is not so that the housework is kept up with or so you have time to blog, it's so that you can invest your time in your children".  That thought would not have even come to me a week ago, before I read this article.  So, I met him and the other two for lunch today!!  And seeing his smile and his happiness at me being there made the things I missed out on getting done all worth it. 

I want my kids to remember me as someone who was intentional in their lives, a mom who gave of herself and of her time for them.  Sure, there will always be laundry and dust and dishes, but my kids won't always be at home.  When they are grown and gone, what will they remember?  An unattentive mom?  Or a mom who had time to cuddle and play games and listen?  I pray it's the latter!

Halloween 2013

Hey that rhymes!  (It's the little things that amuse me.)

This year we kept Halloween pretty low-key.  Well as low-key as you can keep a holiday where kids get to dress up and collect as much candy as is possible in one night.  We didn't do Boo at the Zoo this year (mainly because we don't have a zoo membership) but we did go to Bass Pro Shops one night and do trick-or-treating there.  It was really small and not overly done, so it didn't feel like a big stress to do that.  We went with a friend of mine and her two kids.  It was fun!



Sorry for the grainy phone pic

Ashten and Sofia

 

Brayden dressed up as a Viking. 

 

 

Logan was Jack (from Magic Tree House - his favorite series right now).

 

 

Preston was the Dark Avenger (kind of looked like Batman)

 

 

 

Ashten was Snow White.  Funny story here: when we went to Bass Pro Shops and trick-or-treated, Ashten wore this Snow White costume, so on Halloween night she informed us she didn't want to be Snow White again because "she had already worn that costume".  Sound like a girl much?  We talked her back into it and she was a really cute Snow White!!

 

 

On Halloween night we went out trick-or-treating as a family.  When they had filled up their buckets Brayden and Preston wanted to come home.  After that I went out again with Logan and Ashten, who weren't ready to be done with all the fun of candy-getting.  Then Ashten was ready to be done, so we dropped her off at home and went back out just me and Logan.  We had SO MUCH CANDY! 

 

 

Last year Chris and I were in the middle of trying to work out and lose weight, so we thought up an ingenious plan to get all of the candy out of the house quickly (besides eating it all in 3 days!).  We paid each of the kids some money for their candy and they all gladly gave it up.  So this year they were expecting that again.  We sold the candy to a dentist's office that buys it and sends it to troops overseas and then we also gave the kids a little and then we took them to the mall where they all picked out a new Lego toy (except for Ashten, who got some new bottles for her baby dolls).  Phew, now that Halloween is over, now the real holiday season can start!

Brayden and the viola

At the elementary schools in our area, orchestra and band start in 5th grade.  Brayden wanted to do it right away and we warned him to think very carefully about his decision because it would mean more time doing something else and less free time.  I will give credit to Brayden, he did weigh the decision carefully and spent time thinking about it seriously, but in the end he did choose to play.  Chris and Brayden went to an informational night where basically all the musical instrument vendors in the area are there and you pick an instrument and rent an instrument, etc.

Brayden chose viola and I am super excited about that because I love the sound of stringed instruments and always kind of wished I had learned to play one. 

 

As we kind of figured, since Brayden can already play the piano, read music, count the beat, etc, he picked up viola fairly quickly.  In fact he was pretty bored the first few weeks of orchestra at school because his teacher was teaching really, really basic stuff and he was far beyond that.  He enjoys the instrument very much though, so I think he will stick with it awhile.

Last week, there was an area-wide orchestra concert.  Brayden did great and the kids sounded pretty good for how short of time they had been doing it. 

 

 

I'm so excited to see Brayden continue to improve!

Matching outfits

My sister gave Ashten a bunch of her daughter's old clothes (still so grateful!!) and one shirt Ashten called her "sparkle" shirt and insisted I had one to match.  I couldn't remember the one she thought she knew I had, but one day it was hanging up to dry and Ashten was super enthusiastic that we should wear them to match the next day.  So we did.....

 

I'll take it now, I know there's a day coming someday when she would be mortified to be seen in public matching her mom! ;)

Sleepy guy

Preston is our kid that can fall asleep anywhere, anytime.  He gets tired and it just doesn't matter where we are or what he's doing, he's out!  He even fell asleep outside during the loud fireworks show this past 4th of July.

Brayden and Logan are getting older and not quite tired and ready for bed when we put the younger two to bed, so we let them stay up and read for a while.  Preston decided he wanted to do that one night, so we obliged, knowing how it would end.  Sure enough, not even 10 minutes later, we came up to find this:

 

I'm thinking this one isn't quite ready for a later bedtime yet!