Monday:
I was a little nervous for our first morning with Kailin that we had to get up and get going fairly early for some appointments we had. We had to get up and get ready, eat breakfast and meet our guide in the hotel lobby by 8:30 for our civil affairs appointment and a couple of other appointments. Kailin actually slept in, which allowed Chris and I to get totally ready first and then wake her up and get her dressed last! At breakfast, Kailin ate so well. This particular morning she had noodles, scrambled eggs, a banana and beans. We experimented with different foods our two weeks in China, but those were always a sure thing if we knew we needed her to eat good and eat quickly! Really we couldn't find much she wouldn't eat though - not sure if that was more because she wasn't sure if/when she would eat again or if she really truly isn't too picky.
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Looking back, we think this smile was more because she had her own
toys than she was really happy/warming up to us already |
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| Leaving for our morning appointments |
Our appointments that morning were first the civil affairs office where we finalized her adoption, then the notary office and finally the passport office. Kailin was definitely nervous as we left the hotel and got in a van, but she only fussed once or twice and only for a f
ew seconds each time.
At the civil affairs office we signed a bunch of papers saying we would never abandon or abuse her. They asked us what our plans for her were and why we wanted to adopt from China. We also paid our orphanage donation here and got fingerprinted (in red) to signify our consent to adopt Kailin. The lady who had brought Kailin to us the night before from the orphanage was there again, she had to sign off on the paperwork too, which was difficult for Kailin. She was giving this lady big smiles and pretty much wanting to ignore us the best she could.
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| Outside the civial affairs office |
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| Being a goof while waiting at the civial affairs office for our turn |
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OUtside the civil affairs building with Lillian,
a worker from the orpahange |
The notary office was more like a conference room and we were asked the same questions as at the civil affairs office. Here we distracted Kailin with a snack!
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| Waiting in the notary office |
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| Outside the notary office |
The passport office looked like a big DMV. When we walked in there were tons of people waiting and I was so nervous we would be there for hours. However, our guide walked right up to a window and we got right in, so I'm not sure if they expedite adoption cases or if she had called ahead or what, but I was pleased we didn't have to be there long because Kailin was getting really bored and really nervous about what was going on the longer we were gone. We let her out of the ergo here and when we got up to leave, Chris picked her up. We figured out she did better with Chris if he didn't take her from me, if she was down and he picked her up she didn't usually cry, but if I was holding her and he took her, she lost it!
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| Waiting at the passport office |
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| Outside the passport building |
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| Outside the passport building |
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| She fell asleep on daddy's lap on the way back to the hotel |
After that, we came back to the hotel and mostly hung out in the room. After we ate a delicious, gourmet lunch of cup of noodles, I painted her nails and she took a bath, which she was nervous about at first, but she loved it! We didn't do a nap that day because she had fallen asleep for almost a half hour in the van and we didn't figure she would sleep well.
We took a couple of walks around the lake that's right by our hotel that day as well (mostly because we were bored of the hotel room and there was really nothing else to do) and Kailin took a nap in the ergo while Chris was wearing her on one of our walks.
This was a very hard day for me emotionally. I think it was a combination of being physically tired and mentally exhausted and really, really homesick. I missed our kids SO bad, and I couldn't even imagine still being away from them for another week and a half. Kailin was rejecting Chris and I felt partly to blame, which made me feel more sad. And I knew that if she wouldn't let Chris do things for her like carry her or feed her or bathe her that would all fall on me and I was not liking the idea of that! (mama needs her breaks!!) Chris and I were both on edge to begin with and the stress of Kailin was making it harder for us to keep it together for each other and for her. I was so glad when we got Kailin to bed that night and after we Skyped with the kids again and got into bed I was so glad knowing we had another day down and we were one day closer to home!
Tuesday:
After finishing up at the passport office on Monday, all the rest of Fuzhou was a waiting game. We had to wait 3 days to get Kailin's passport issued so we could fly to Guangzhou. It was frustrating to have to wait, but 3 days isn't that long compared to what it would be in the US. Even expedited passports in the US take 2-3 weeks!
I'll take this opportunity to talk about the breakfast buffets in China. They are huge! There are some really weird choices (normal breakfast things in China) and then there are more western style breakfast foods with a Chinese twist. Everything is fried or cooked in oil, there's just no way around it. We tried to eat as healthy as possible, but even the scrambled eggs just slid down your throat. It was all really good though, breakfast was my favorite meal of the day. Chris and I ate a huge breakfast, a snack lunch of something I brought from home (like oatmeal or a protein bar) and then we went out to eat and had a bigger dinner. I usually had some scrambled eggs, some stir fried veggies (usually broccoli) and then a bunch of carbs. Muffins, croissants, donuts, French toast, etc - and ironically I lost 1 pound in China!
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| roasted chicken feet |
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| peanut soup |
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bean curd
marinated bean curd
(these looked like tofu, so I think it was a translation thing, but I didn't try it) |
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| boiled pigs lung soup |
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fish ball
sliced fish soup |
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| preserved egg |
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| deep fried sliced chicken |
Tuesday morning we met our guide in the lobby around 9:30 and went to a place called Three Lanes Seven Alleys. Its what you think of when you picture China. It was very interesting, all the old history. It used to be a place where the rich people (Three Lanes) and the poor people (Seven Alleys lived across the street from each other. Now it is just a touristy area with gift shops and a museum and lots of cool sculptures.
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| there's even a Starbucks there |
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| This was an opening to one of the lanes |
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| this was one of the alleys |
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| these lanterns were everywhere - I love them! |
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a bakery there - don't be fooled though, anything that looks like it's filled with
chocolate - it's actually red bean curd. yuck! |
There was a museum there that showed what an old house might have looked like. These wood carvings were my favorite - so intricate!
Halfway through we switched from me wearing Kailin to Chris putting the ergo on and carrying her for a bit. We tried to switch off carrying Kailin so one of us didn't get tired and she would get used to both of us. That marginally worked.
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| our travel group |
After we finished at Three Lanes Seven Alleys, our guide took us to a Wal-Mart to stock up on some food and water to get us through the rest of the week. You can't drink the tap water in China, so we had to buy a lot of bottled water and we didn't even drink the amount of water we normally would in a day just to try and save some money. This Wal-Mart was huge, 3 levels! It was mostly like our Wal-Marts in the U.S., with a few interesting China additions, like chicken feet! They sold them in cases right in the front of the store like they would a rotisserie chicken here in the US.
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| chicken feet anyone? |
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| escalator ramps to get to the upper levels |
After Wal-Mart we went to McDonald's for lunch since it was right there. Our guide suggested it and it didn't sound great, but we didn't want to be rude. We each ordered a hamburger off the dollar menu and some fries and chicken nuggets (which were more like wings - they had bones in them) for Kailin. We also had some ice cream and ate that while we waited for our driver to pick us up.
We took our food back to the hotel and ate lunch in our room. Then we laid Kailin down for her nap. When she woke up we went to the park next to our hotel and let Kailin walk around a little. Her muscle tone was so low, so we wanted to give her opportunities for exercise. It ended up maybe not being the best idea, she just kind of took off and didn't look back. We could've walked away and she wouldn't have cared/noticed. She was really excited to go play with the other kids and one mom brought up her son and made him hug Kailin and hold her hand while she took pictures. It was awkward. We put Kailin back in the ergo and walked back to the hotel. Lesson learned: don't let Kailin walk by herself in a busy area.
We tried to get to bed early that night knowing we had to be up and going very early the next morning to go visit the orphanage - it was going to be a long day for many reasons.
Wednesday:
Kailin was up at 5:30 am from a bad dream. We brought her into the bed with us, but that didn't work, she just seemed very on edge. Finally we just got up and got ready to go and tried to be at the breakfast buffet right at 7 since we had to meet our guide at 7:30 in the lobby to leave for the 4-hour drive to the orphanage. We figured Kailin might nap in the car on the way there but she didn't at all.
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| some early morning reading before heading to breakfast |
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Chris had a little surprise on his breakfast noodles this morning:
squid! (he opted not to eat them facing a 4-hour car ride and
not knowing how they'd make his stomach feel |
As soon as we arrived at the orphanage, Kailin's whole demeanor changed. She went from happy and playful to fussing, arching her back away from me and acting very nervous. When we got up to the 3rd floor (the floor she had lived on) it was obvious she remembered the place and was not happy about it. Come to fin
d out later she just spent 4 nights there the week before, which would explain her familiarity and anxiety. They had moved her back to the orphanage from her foster home the Wednesday prior to get her ready for our gotcha day on Sunday. I'm sure she was thinking we were bringing her back there as well. Poor girl.
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| a typical room |
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| the room where Kailin slept |
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| daily schedule |
We walked around and saw the rooms lined with 8-10 cribs and one worker. We saw the room she would have stayed in. We saw kids just finishing up lunch and watching a movie before they would be sent to their cribs for naptime. We saw the playroom where Kailin had played and that's where she completely lost it. She was fighting so hard to get out of the ergo and was acting just as she had on gotcha day when she was inconsolable. I left the playroom and walked out into the hall which is where i lost it too. It was just heartbreaking to see her grieve like that and i can't even imagine the thoughts and fears that must have been going through her mind right then. I remember praying and telling God that this is too hard (not just then, the two days prior as well) and I felt like I heard God tell me right there in that moment "I know this is hard, but think about how much harder Kailin's life would be as an orphan here forever." I know the grieving is normal and I know it is necessary, but that doesn't make it any easier to see or experience.
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| the room where Kailin played |
The orphanage staff didn't completely understand why Kailin was stressed or why I was crying, but thankfully shortly after I stepped out into the hall, the tour was over and we got to leave! We took some pictures out front, went and saw the baby safety island that is just outside the orphanage gate and then got in our van and drove to lunch.
The lunch was with some of the orphanage staff, our guide and the other family we were with. It was at a really nice restaurant and we were served a seven-course meal. SO much fun with a toddler, let me tell you. Kailin was very hungry and ate a lot, but towards the end she was full and sick of sitting so then she wanted to run around. Still no one seemed to feel a rush to leave, so we tried to keep her as contained as possible, but eventually I just had to step out into the restaurant lobby and wait for everyone to finish up.
After lunch, we went searching for Kailin's finding spot. After a while they were able to find it. It was right outside a fancy resort area. It was so special to come full circle with her and have those pictures and memories to show her later, but it was heartbreaking to think about the circumstances that would cause a family to have to abandon their child.
We really quick got out and took some pictures and hen we got back in the van and made the 4 hour drive back to our hotel in Fuzhou. Kailin napped for the first 2 hours and then started interacting and being her happy self again, a big change from the disengaged and withdrawn girl at the orphanage. Once we got back to the hotel we ordered room service for dinner and tried to rebound a little after our stressful day.
Chris says that this was the hardest day of our trip for him. It was definitely very stressful and super difficult, but Monday was still the worst day for me. This was a close second! Many people commented on how dumb it seemed to take a child back to the place they just came from and honestly we questioned that many times that day too. The point of the orphanage trip is not because anyone thinks it will be easy and fun for the kids, it's so that in 2, 5, 10 years down the road as Kailin has questions, we can answer them with as much information and pictures as possible. Those pictures are some of the only things we have from her past and as hard as that was, I am glad we will be able to show her where she lived and played and who took care of her and explain to her how we were all feeling that day.
Thursday:
This was a much needed low-key day after yesterday. We woke up without an alarm, got ready and after breakfast headed over to the panda zoo that's close to our hotel with the other family.
We walked around there for a little while, we saw the big pandas and a show with a red panda doing tricks! Our Denver Zoo doesn't have pandas, so it was fun to see them in China. Some lady tried to give us a tour that started off with a video. We sat down for the video and it was all in Chinese, with Chinese subtitles. So we walked out and walked around the zoo on our own.
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| I couldn't stop taking pictures of the beautiful lake |
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| very tropical |
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motorcycles are huge there! people put oven mitts on the handles
(Chris said it's probably to keep their hands warm) |
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| entrance to the panda zoo |
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| the theater with the Chinese movie about pandas |
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| I still love this picture! |
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enjoying some time out of the ergo and a
snack during the panda show |
After the panda zoo, we made one last trip to the market for water. In the afternoon we ate lunch in our hotel room, gave Kailin a nap and then went over some paperwork with our guide. After that we took a short walk at t
he lake and ate dinner in the downstairs restaurant.
Kailin made some great improvements with Chris on Thursday - she wanted him to carry her down to breakfast and she rode all morning inn the ergo with him! Thursday was the first day that felt like maybe I could make it, we were at least getting closer. We were anxious to leave Fuzhou and get to Guangzhou - one last stop before going home to our other kids!
Friday:
In the morning after breakfast, we took a walk around the lake one last time. Kailin fell asleep in the ergo and Chris was interviewed by some random guy with a microphone and video camera. He asked Chris something in Chinese, Chris said, "I don't know" and the guy laughed and said "I don't know". It was very much like Jay Leno used to do his street thing and ask people questions, so who knows if Chris ended up on some Chinese TV show or what?
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| the guy interviewing people |
After our walk, we went back to the hotel room for lunch and gave Kailin a nap. She was in a very playful mood, but she eventually did nap. Chris and I finished packing up while she slept.
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| she discovered the closet on the last day (thankfully not sooner) |
At 3 pm we met our guide in the lobby to check out, get Kailin's passport and drive to the airport. Once there, she helped us check in and then we had a snack at KFC before going through security and waiting for our plane to board. Kailin and the other little girl had so much fun running up and down the hall at the airport!
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| us with our guide, Maggie |
Our flight was supposed to leave right when Kailin had been going to bed, but it was an hour late (which come to find out is normal for Chinese airlines and totally expected/not a big deal). By the time we got on our plane it was already after 9pm, but Kailin was wide awake. Thankfully it was only about an hour flight to get to Guangzhou, but Kailin was awake the whole time. She mostly played with stickers, she stuck them all over my magazine. At the very end she figured out the tray table (sorry lady in front of us), but I too exhausted to care or correct her. When we landed we walked to get our luggage and then met our guide Jack. As we were waiting outside for our driver (it was about 11 pm) Kailin finally fell asleep and slept through till the morning, despite the fact that when we walked into our hotel it was loud and chaotic. She even stayed asleep when we took her out of the ergo and laid her in her crib.
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| Kailin's first airplane ride |
Next stop: Guangzhou!!!!
