I have been very aware lately of the fact that the season of mothering I am in now is very different than it has ever been. I initially realized it through my online Bible study accountability group, as many of them talk about how it's hard to get up in the morning because they have been up multiple times at night with their babies and/or toddlers. That really got me to thinking - I can't remember the last time I was up in the middle of the night consoling a crying baby/toddler who wouldn't go back to sleep.
Then I started thinking about all that has changed, it's so crazy that I didn't recognize the major changes till just recently because it was just a small change each day or week:
The biggest downside I have noticed about the kids getting older is that most of our friends have kids younger than ours. We did have kids at a very young age, so most people our age don't have kids our kids' ages. That really isn't usually a big deal except for when all my friends get together and go do something, like go to the children's museum (which has gotten too young and boring for the older boys) or when they all meet at the kiddie pool (and I know the boys would be bored to death wading around in a small little pool when they could go dive and splash and swim in the deep end). It's not that I want to go and make my kids be bored just to have some social time and I enjoy doing older kid stuff with them more, but it can be a little lonely to not have someone to commiserate with when I'm dealing with older kid issues.
During the days of toddlerhood, it seemed like it would never end. Like I would always be in the trenches of childcare, but man, how quickly it goes. Each stage has it pros and cons for sure, but I've gotta say I really like this stage right now. They are old enough to be a little independent with self care, old enough to help out around the house and yet still young enough to need and want me around!
(Now, I realize we still have one toddler, so some of the toddler stuff we're still doing (like bathtime, teeth brushing, dressing her, naptime, etc), but it just doesn't seem to consume my life like it once did. And Ashten definitely acts older than her brothers did at her age, just because she is around older-kid stuff all the time and so that's what interests her and that's the example she follows. Just a few weeks ago, even, Ashten stopped wearing a diaper at night and naptime, so we are even done with diapers at this point!!! Woo-hoo)
Then I started thinking about all that has changed, it's so crazy that I didn't recognize the major changes till just recently because it was just a small change each day or week:
- Issues that we deal with by having 3 elementary-age children and one toddler are SO different than they were with 2-3 toddlers and maybe only one in school. We are guiding and correcting and training, but the emphasis is more on helping them to figure it out on their own so they can work more towards independence. We are not leaving them to do it all on their own, but the older they get, the more of their problem they work to solve, either with us or on their own. The problems are bigger and more important to be worked out correctly, but they also offer more room for teaching them a life lesson.
- Instead of worrying about whether all the kids will nap at the same time, my afternoons are now filled with homework, sounds of music practice filling our home, soccer practice, etc..
- The boys are more or less self-sufficient, so instead of being the one to get them dressed and brush their teeth and bathe them, I just have to follow up and make sure that they did those things.
- The toys that fill our home now are mostly Legos and small figurines, gone are the days of Duplos, board books, Thomas the Train, Bob the Builder and big, plastic, annoyingly colorful toys.
- Things that used to interest them are kind of baby-ish now. For instance, they used to LOVE the Cars movie, but they have shown zero desire in seeing the new Planes movie. They are kind of past the animated, cutesy stuff. They like superhero movies and if it's animated, it has to either be A) really funny with older humor or B) a Lego movie.
- We don't take a stroller anywhere anymore!
- We are busy, busy, busy as a family. I always wondered why they sold those calendars where there was a space to write each family member's activities for the week - now I know!! I love that our kids are active and involved and don't just sit around the house all day, but it can make for some very hectic days if we aren't intentional with family time.
- We are seeing their personalities emerge more and more each day and it's got us thinking about how to see each child as an individual and encourage their unique strengths and talents. I picture their talents in light of how God has gifted them for the job He has for them as an adult. It's weird to think about it like that!
During the days of toddlerhood, it seemed like it would never end. Like I would always be in the trenches of childcare, but man, how quickly it goes. Each stage has it pros and cons for sure, but I've gotta say I really like this stage right now. They are old enough to be a little independent with self care, old enough to help out around the house and yet still young enough to need and want me around!
(Now, I realize we still have one toddler, so some of the toddler stuff we're still doing (like bathtime, teeth brushing, dressing her, naptime, etc), but it just doesn't seem to consume my life like it once did. And Ashten definitely acts older than her brothers did at her age, just because she is around older-kid stuff all the time and so that's what interests her and that's the example she follows. Just a few weeks ago, even, Ashten stopped wearing a diaper at night and naptime, so we are even done with diapers at this point!!! Woo-hoo)
