Adoption FAQ

Sometimes I get questions that I don't feel like I answer really well on the spot or I get comments that don't really require a response, although I think of a really good one later.  This is my forum for that!

Q:  Why are you adopting from Ethiopia when there are so many children here in America that need a home?
A:  I can't really say except that we both felt a very specific calling to do an international adoption from Ethiopia.  This is not to mimize the orphan situation right here in our own country at all, but too many orphans is a world-wide problem, so I think we can make a difference no matter where we adopt from.

Q: Do you really need more kids?
A: I gotta admit, this one really had me stammering for a minute.  Um, true answer is "no, we don't NEED more kids".  We aren't doing this because we have this insatiable desire for another child, although we are looking foward to having another child.  We are doing this because God told us to and we are not called to have all the answers, we are called to obey.  Oh, and my answer to that question once I finally gathered my thoughts was "God thinks we do."

Q: Are you crazy?
A: Short answer: just a little bit. Long answer: We realize that by today's standards, having 4 kids is a lot, let alone 5. But honestly, having 5 kids doesn't scare me in the least. I am so excited for the day she is home with us. So I guess it depends what lens you are looking through: the world's or God's? (By the way, this is a question we have gotten multiple times, I wish I was kidding!)

Q: Where are you at money-wise?
A: Although a highly personal question, we have agreed to be completely open and vulnerable during this whole process, so we share anyway.  We originally announced our adoption and at the same time shared our need of $17,000 for the first round of expenses.  God has been so incredible so far, showing Himself strong and providing for us, even when it doesn't look promising.  We have received $9000 so far, enough to start our homestudy and partially pay the fee for our other agency!  I wish I had enough stamina to accurately type out all the ways that God has been answering prayers and showing off, it's so cool.  I guess if you're interested, you'll just have to ask me!

Q: Where are you at in the adoption process right now?
A:  Right now we are working on completing all the paperwork for our homestudy.  After we turn that in and they review it, we will start on the 4 homestudy interviews that we have to do.  At the same time as the homestudy interviews, we will be working on our immigration and dossier paperwork.  When ALL that is done, we will be placed on the waiting list for a referral.  Word on the street is that it can take up to 24 months to be "matched" with a child.  Then, lots more paperwork and 2 trips to Ethiopia later and she'll be ours and home with us!!! 

Q: What can I do to help?
A: Pray! Pray more! Pray still more! We are under attack from Satan all the time. He is trying so hard to discourage us get us to give up. If, while you're praying, God prompts you to help more, please contact us to find out the most current needs and the best ways to help.

Q: What have people's reactions been?
A: It has been funny to see how different people react.  Some people are totally excited right off the bat.  Some people sit there stunned in silence and need lots of time to process what we just told them.  Some people come to us days or weeks later with a list of questions, so we know they've been thinking about it and wrapping their heads around it.  Some people act kind of non-chalant, like it's really cool, but no big deal.

Q: How's it going overall?
A: Depends on the day, sometimes the hour, you ask me.  There are days of discouragement and defeat.  There are days of elation and joy.  And there are days of every emotion in between.  This journey is definitely a roller-coaster ride.

Q: Couldn't the amount of money you are spending to bring one child home be better used if you just sent it to the orphanage and let them use it to feed and care for many children?
A:  It's true that extreme poverty is a huge problem in Ethiopia, and there is a lack of food and other basic necessities.  However, you can't buy love and you can't compensate for a child not having a family to call their own, no matter how much money you give them.  There is nothing wrong with sending money and caring for the orphan that way, but we definitely don't feel like that is what God is calling us specifically to do.  For all orphans, the best thing and their biggest need is to be in a family that loves and cares for them.  We feel like God is calling us to be that family for one orphan halfway across the world.

Easter photo shoot

We had a great Easter this year!  We went to church and then went over to Chris' parents for lunch.  My parents were also there, so the kids were able to see both sets of grandparents!

 

Preston was mad at me, so no smile  :(

Girls are so much fun at Easter - all those pretty dresses!  This one was a gift from her Aunt Clara

  

Later in the afternoon when we weren't all dressed up.

Logan's friend birthday party

On Logan's actual birthday, Saturday March 31st, we had his friend party.  He wanted a Star Wars theme, so I decorated in blue and black, we ate Galactic Pizza and had Yoda Soda and we did jedi training for the activities. 

First they did an obstacle course and then they had to go on a rescue mission (i.e. find different star war figurines at the bottom of a balloon pile).  Once they completed those two activities, they earned their light sabers (which I found blow up ones at Target).  Then they had to do some light saber training.

All the kids (1 boy and 6 girls!)

This is just a side note and I don't mean at all to sound discontent, but the paneling is really hurting my eyes and I know we don't live in the 70's anymore (or whatever era paneling was popular).  Our plan was to remodel that room this year, but then God placed His plan of adoption on our hearts, so the basement will wait. But, it's the next big project on our list when we feel like we can spare some money for trivial things like that.  I'm really not complaining, we've lived with it for 9 years and it hasn't blinded us yet!  haha  Just please don't judge our poor decorating choices - they weren't ours, we inherited it!

I got lazy and ordered a cake from Sams at the last minute.  This cannot become a habit for me.

It was funny because out of the 7 kids that came, 6 of them were girls. I hope they had fun and didn't mind the Star Wars theme.  Regardless of if the girls had fun, I know Logan did! I didn't get many pictures during the party, cuz it turns out 6-7 year old girls create a lot of drama, so I felt like I was dealing with that a lot!! haha  Oh good times! 

We had a good time celebrating your 7 years Logan!  Happy birthday to our wonderful 2nd born!

Happy 7th birthday Logan

I can't believe I just typed that title!!  7?  Are you kidding me?  Would someone please tell my children to stop growing up so fast?

Logan is a treasure to our family. God has given Logan a tender and compassionate heart for others and I am so excited to see him grow and mature into the man that God created him to be.  Logan is very vivacious, he loves life and tries to get the most out of each and every day.  Logan is sensitive and sweet which, like everything has two sides to it, but if someone is hurting or sad, you can count on Logan to try and cheer them up.

 

Logan right now LOVES dolphins, Legos and Star Wars.  He is very creative in his play and loves to play with his brothers or his sister.  Logan doesn't really like to sit on the couch and watch TV or a movie, he'd rather be up playing, but he loves video games.  He is actually pretty good at them too, he can usually beat me!  He is also excited to be playing baseball for the first time this spring and seems to have some natural talent for it (although he hasn't played in a game yet, we are just guessing based on watching him practice?).

Happy 7th birthday Logan!  We love love love you!!!

Thus far #1

Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen, and called its name Ebenezer, saying, “Thus far the LORD has helped us.”  1 Samuel 7:12

When Chris and I began this adoption journey, one of our greatest desires is that God would get the glory through the whole thing.  On our own, there is no way that this adoption will be successful: we don't have enough money, we don't have enough strength, we don't have enough courage and we definitely don't have enough wisdom.  But we decided to take the step of faith to go through with the adoption because we knew that since God was calling us to it, He would provide everything we needed along the way. 

So that is what this post is all about - what God has done so far.  Just like Samuel set up the stone as a reminder how God had helped the Isrealites "thus far",  I will be doing these kind of posts periodically as a way to document how God has shown Himself strong so far.  It will also serve as an encouragment to us during those times of setbacks and discouragement, to look back and see how God has been working so far.

"Thus far"....

• When it looked like the placing agency we applied to might not accept our application for several reasons, God worked it out so that our top choice agency would accept us.
• God has provided several new cyber-friends (who I hope to one day meet) who have gone through the adoption journey.  And guess what, they have all adopted from Ethiopia in the last 2 years?  Awesome?  Yes!  Coincidence?  No!
• God has provided us a wonderful support system for us, consisting of people who have adopted or who just have a huge heart for God and a desire for what God desires.  Some of these people have been friends for a long time and others have been brought into our life specifically for this purpose.
• God led us to two different organizations to assist us with donations and fundraising.  One is Ordinary Hero (update: no longer taking tax-dedecutible donations) and the other is Just Love Coffee.
• We sent out support letters as well as emails and some FB messages letting people know about our adoption and our immediate need of $17,000.  We have already received over 30% of that goal!!!  Praise the Lord!!
• Like I said before, even the desire to adopt and the burden for the orphan is from God.  Both Chris and I thought we were done having kids, and I especially had no desire to adopt at all.  (You can ask Chris and some of my friends - I was adamantly against personally doing it for very selfish reasons!) 
• God provided enough money for us to move forward with our home study.  This is the first thing that must be completed before we can get on a waiting list for a child, so this is a huge step!!
• God has created an excitement in our children for a new little sister.  Their faith is extraordinary and challenging at times.  Like the other day when I was stressed about money, Brayden said "Mom, you don't need to worry about it.  If God wants us to adopt, He knows we don't have enough money so He will provide it somehow."  Such wise words from an 8-year-old.  And both Logan and Preston are so inquisitive and concerned about their sister-to-be, wanting to know where she will be from, what color her skin will be and what they can do to help bring her home faster! 
• The timing of this is incredible.  Chris' school district is undergoing budget cuts, which means less money or at least no more money in salary each year.  And Ethiopia is making some big changes as far as adoptions go and it looks very discouraging and bleak sometimes.  It's like God is setting it up so He can show off and get the glory big time.  Like how He did with Gideon and the 300-person army (see Judges 7:2-25). 

It's so cool to look back and see all God has done thus far and it helps me to focus on Him instead of all the stuff not going the right way the way I think it should.  This process is already going way slower than I thought it would, mostly because of finances.  But I know that even in the midst of raising funds so we can proceed, God is working.  I just have to keep my focus on Him.

2-4-6-8

For 10 days all the kids' ages numbers will be evenly spaced 2 years apart.  Then, on the 31st, Logan will turn 7 and mess everything up! 

Ashten - age 2

Preston - age 4

Logan - age 6

Brayden - age 8

Ashten - 2 years old!

Wow!  Our baby is 2 today.  SO hard to believe.  Seems like just yesterday we were bringing her home from the hospital.

She is so grown up now, the things she does now make me realize she really has no baby left in her really.  She started potty training (totally her idea) in January and pretty much had it down a week later.  She still wears a diaper at night and for naptime, but she hardly ever has accidents during the day anymore. I don't know if Ashten is normal, as far as potty training girls goes, but if so, then I can totally see why they say potty training girls is easier!!  I didn't have to do sticker charts or bribery rewards or anything.  She just decided she wanted to go, we bought her some cool princess and Hello Kitty undies and she was all set!

We just moved her to a big bed last week.  She looks so tiny in it, but she was really looking too big for her crib.  She likes it and hasn't tried to get out.  She does really good about staying in it once we put her to bed and she has only fallen out a few times!

She is finally starting to eat better.  I don't know if it is because we switched her from whole milk to 1%, so she is getting less calories from that, or if she's growing, or if her tastes are maturing, or a combination of all of them, but it's nice to serve something for dinner besides pasta or cereal and know that she will most likely eat it.  She is even starting to eat fruits and vegetables, which she didn't do hardly at all (unless spaghetti sauce counts as a vegetable?) up till now!
She is talking so much lately.  She is at the parroting stage, so pretty much anything we ask her to say she will try and say.  And she has a lot of words on her own too.  I love watching language developement!

She is really into pretty much anything girly.  She loves Hello Kitty, Dora, princesses, baby dolls, painting her nails, doing her hair and wearing dresses.

 

Ashten Briar, you have brought so much joy and laughter to our lives over the past few years.  I couldn't imagine our family without you in it. Happy Birthday sweet girl, we love you!

Fundraising

Have you guys seen the new button on the side of the blog?

We were recommended to this awesome organization to help us raise money and collect donations towards our adoption costs.  They have a store on their site with really cool shirts, jewelry and other stuff.  When someone purchases something from their store and chooses our name from the affiliate drop-down box, we received 40% of the purchase towards our adoption! 

We honestly didn't think we'd be fundraising at this stage, but there are more fees due right away than we had originally thought.  The timing of things isn't conducive to applying for grants quite yet as we have to have a completed home study to do that and we have to pay all these fees before or right as we complete that.  We have about $17,000 that we need to pay in the next 90 days or our applications will expire and we will have to start all over.  It is very humbling to have to ask for support from our family and friends, but we believe that this is how God will provide for us at this step, so we are trying to be faithful to getting the word out so people know of our need.  So if you are willing and able to help us out, know that it will really mean a lot to our family!

So, would you consider helping us out by shopping?  Some of my favorite things in the store are:

  OH black crew t-shirt

 Red heart Africe tee

 Blue SuperHERO tee

  I'm Gonna Change the World toddler tee

  OH Love girls tee

If you shop, please remember to select our name in the drop-down box so we receive 40% of your sale.  You get a great product and we get funds towards our adoption! 

Feel free to share this with other people who you think might like to shop and help us out at the same time.  Thank you guys so much, we treasure you!!

Update:  We have also signed up to fundraise with Just Love Coffee.  See our sidebar or visit the site for more info!

Interesting outfit

The other day Logan came upstairs dressed like this: button up shirt with his soccer jersey over the top, track pants with soccer shorts over the top.  I just couldn't let him walk around like that all day, so I made him go change, but not before I took a picture!  I love this cute handsome boy!

Here at home

Preston and Ashten have developed a special relationship since they are alone together so much during the day.  They have learned to play together so nicely and Preston treats her like such a princess, kissing her hand and calling her "pretty girly" alot!  If he's sad, she will go over to him and give him a kiss and ask him if he's ok.  They just generally look out for each other.  So sweet.

But they also have this rough side, where Preston wants Ashten to wrestle him and she is usually all for that.  She sits on his stomach and then he rolls over, flopping her on the floor.  You would think one of them would get hurt, but they are just giggling and laughing the whole time! 

I love seeing their relationship grow.  We just got word last week that Preston will be doing full-day kindergarten next year.  I was pretty sad.  I know it will be good for Preston to have that kind of structure and I think he will learn a lot more, but I will miss him so much, and I know Ashten will really miss having a brother at home to play with.