Adoption update, May 2013

We got our new wait list number on Wednesday and it is still sitting steady at #114.  Super discouraging!!!  I can't even imagine doing this for another 2 or more years.  My strength and stamina for this wait will be coming from God alone, I can promise you that, I don't have the strength for it in my own flesh.

For someone who has never adopted, the feelings and emotions that go along with the whole process, specifically the wait, are so hard to describe.  It can be very a very lonely feeling.  I can't go to my friend and tell her how I'm feeling and have her understand and sympathize.  Not that she won't try, but there is just no comparison.  Someone asked if it was kind of like being pregnant and waiting for the baby to be born.  Not really.  For one, in pregnancy, even though the baby isn't present outside my body, I am still getting to know him/her.  What do they like me to eat and not eat?  What times do they wake up and sleep?  How active are they?  What noises do they like?  I know they are safe and I have some control over the situation.  And most importantly, I have an approximate date that they will be here, in my arms.  But I don't know any of that stuff about our daughter right now.  Is she safe?  Is she hungry?  Where is she?  When will I see her face and hear her voice?  It's very much of an out-of-control situation, on my part.  I can't think of anything to compare it to.  I am so grateful for the people who ask how I'm doing and ask about our adoption, but no one "gets it" like a fellow adoptive parent.  Unfortunately I have very little "real-life" ones of those.  However, thanks to social media, I do know quite a few adoptive mamas via an Ethiopia adoption group.  These are the ladies I turn to when the discouragement sets in and I miss our girl like crazy.  They get it and they are always ready with Bible verses, encouragement and tons of advice.  

Our social worker emailed me today and reminded me of a truth I have to keep remembering: God loves our little girl (and all orphans) more than we ever could and He has everything in His control.  This wait doesn't make sense to me, but I have to trust that God knows.