I keep this notebook where I try to write down funny things the kids say. I don't always get it written down before I forget, but I try. Here are some of my favorites:
2008
Logan: (after putting his undies on backwards) "Mom, my undies are a little loose and a little tight."
-----
Brayden: " Mom, before I went to kindergarten, I thought germ killer was where we got out our swords and killed the bad guys. But now I know it's just stuff you put on your hands."
-----
Logan: (instead of Mr. Potato Head) "Sir 'Tato Head"
----
Brayden: "Mom, how do the sun and moon know when to go up and down if they have no eyes?"
Me: "God tells them."
Brayden: "How do they hear if they have no ears?"
2009
Logan: (after getting new shoes with Transformers on them) "Well I like my new shoes, but they don't transform into anything. I wake up in the morning and go look at them and they are still just shoes."
----
Logan: "Watch me do hiccups, mom." (Proceeds to do a push-up)
----
Me: (after Brayden and Logan had been fighting for awhile) "It sounds to me like you guys just need a break from each other for awhile."
Brayden: "Ya, like for a few days!"
----
Logan: "My brother, Preston, is getting bigger and bigger, I can tell, but I'm not. Well my mom says I am, but I can't see it."
----
Brayden: "Mom, how would you feel if a really big snake ate your mom?"
Me: "I'd be very sad."
Brayden: "Well that's how sad I am that I couldn't take grandma's stuffed elephant home with me."
----
Brayden: "Mom, did we come from your tummy or an egg?"
----
Brayden: "I'm not crying, I'm just talking sad."
----
Logan: "I'm so excited that the baby is growing and your tummy is getting bigger. And these are getting bigger too (pointing to my chest) - your bumps!"
----
Logan: (singing "Oh Be Careful") "Oh be careful little mouth what you chew."
----
Brayden: "It's a good thing God made us toot."
Me: "Why?"
Brayden: "Because then we'd know when we need to poop."
----
Logan: (burp) "That was just a pretending burp."
Brayden: "No, Logan, it was a not real burp, so it was a fiction burp."
2010
Brayden: "I'm putting some Please Come Back cream on Daddy's bald spot so it will grow back."
----
We were walking and saw some geese who were honking really loudly
Me: "Logan, what do you think they're saying to each other?"
Logan: "I don't know, I don't speak duck."
----
Preston: "Oh my cow!" (instead of oh my goodness or holy cow)
----
Preston: "I don't like going to the quiet library (adult section), just the loud one (kids section)."
----
Preston: (he had a runny nose) "Uh-oh, I have a bless you."
----
Preston: "When I'm 4, Ashten will be 1. That's weird."
----
We were talking about how Santa isn't real, but some kids think he is. I asked Brayden if he told kids Santa wasn't real or just let them pretend, specifically talking about a girl in his class who believed in Santa.
Brayden: "I just let her pretend. Otherwise she'd get mad. And I don't want to make her mad - girls just react differently than boys when they're mad."
2011
Logan: "Since Ms. Pat (our neighbor) doesn't have kids, maybe she never gets mad!"
----
Brayden: (talking about Ashten dancing) "Sometimes the thing in the behind gets shaking a little."
----
Brayden: "I don't like snow: it's cold and it doesn't even taste good!"
2012
Me: "Preston, how was your nap?"
Preston: "I don't know, I was asleep the whole time."
----
Logan: "If I were in heaven, I would ask God if I could hold the world in my hands for a minute. But I bet it would be heavy."
----
Logan: "I love the snow!"
Preston: "Why don't you put a ring on it?" (thank you, Beyoncé, for that! haha)
----
Brayden: "You know how when you're born you get some things from your mom and some things from your dad? Well I think I got my long hair from mom and my rolling around in bed and making a mess when I sleep from dad."
----
Logan: (pointing to his toes) "This is my thumb toe (big toe), this is my pinky toe (little toe), and this is my inappropriate toe (middle toe)."
----
Logan: "Mom, do you have a typewriter I can use?"
Me: "No, I have a computer though."
Logan: "Um, no, a typewriter would be much easier."
----
Me: "What color is the mud?"
Ashten: "Yuck!"
----
We were playing hide-and-seek
Me: "Ashten, I'm sorry I can't play anymore, I need to go make dinner."
Ashten: "That's ok, I'll play by myself!"
2013
Ashten: (after seeing a black man at the store) "Oh, it's an adoption!"
----
Brayden: "You know what girls do that's weird? They walk around in big groups and talk a lot and shake their heads around so their hair waves around."
----
Ashten: "When I grow up, I want to be a Barbie."
----
Preston: "Do you know why people in jail don't get dessert? Because they have been very bad and they don't deserve any treats!"
----
Ashten: "Has God or Jesus died?"
Me: "Well Jesus died, but then He rose again!"
Ashten "So He's alive right now?"
Me: "Yes"
Ashten: "Why?"
Me: "Because that's what God wanted."
Ashten: "Aw, that's cute."
----
Brayden: "I made a morning schedule and I have no time for fighting!"
2008
Logan: (after putting his undies on backwards) "Mom, my undies are a little loose and a little tight."
-----
Brayden: " Mom, before I went to kindergarten, I thought germ killer was where we got out our swords and killed the bad guys. But now I know it's just stuff you put on your hands."
-----
Logan: (instead of Mr. Potato Head) "Sir 'Tato Head"
----
Brayden: "Mom, how do the sun and moon know when to go up and down if they have no eyes?"
Me: "God tells them."
Brayden: "How do they hear if they have no ears?"
2009
Logan: (after getting new shoes with Transformers on them) "Well I like my new shoes, but they don't transform into anything. I wake up in the morning and go look at them and they are still just shoes."
----
Logan: "Watch me do hiccups, mom." (Proceeds to do a push-up)
----
Me: (after Brayden and Logan had been fighting for awhile) "It sounds to me like you guys just need a break from each other for awhile."
Brayden: "Ya, like for a few days!"
----
Logan: "My brother, Preston, is getting bigger and bigger, I can tell, but I'm not. Well my mom says I am, but I can't see it."
----
Brayden: "Mom, how would you feel if a really big snake ate your mom?"
Me: "I'd be very sad."
Brayden: "Well that's how sad I am that I couldn't take grandma's stuffed elephant home with me."
----
Brayden: "Mom, did we come from your tummy or an egg?"
----
Brayden: "I'm not crying, I'm just talking sad."
----
Logan: "I'm so excited that the baby is growing and your tummy is getting bigger. And these are getting bigger too (pointing to my chest) - your bumps!"
----
Logan: (singing "Oh Be Careful") "Oh be careful little mouth what you chew."
----
Brayden: "It's a good thing God made us toot."
Me: "Why?"
Brayden: "Because then we'd know when we need to poop."
----
Logan: (burp) "That was just a pretending burp."
Brayden: "No, Logan, it was a not real burp, so it was a fiction burp."
2010
Brayden: "I'm putting some Please Come Back cream on Daddy's bald spot so it will grow back."
----
We were walking and saw some geese who were honking really loudly
Me: "Logan, what do you think they're saying to each other?"
Logan: "I don't know, I don't speak duck."
----
Preston: "Oh my cow!" (instead of oh my goodness or holy cow)
----
Preston: "I don't like going to the quiet library (adult section), just the loud one (kids section)."
----
Preston: (he had a runny nose) "Uh-oh, I have a bless you."
----
Preston: "When I'm 4, Ashten will be 1. That's weird."
----
We were talking about how Santa isn't real, but some kids think he is. I asked Brayden if he told kids Santa wasn't real or just let them pretend, specifically talking about a girl in his class who believed in Santa.
Brayden: "I just let her pretend. Otherwise she'd get mad. And I don't want to make her mad - girls just react differently than boys when they're mad."
2011
Logan: "Since Ms. Pat (our neighbor) doesn't have kids, maybe she never gets mad!"
----
Brayden: (talking about Ashten dancing) "Sometimes the thing in the behind gets shaking a little."
----
Brayden: "I don't like snow: it's cold and it doesn't even taste good!"
2012
Me: "Preston, how was your nap?"
Preston: "I don't know, I was asleep the whole time."
----
Logan: "If I were in heaven, I would ask God if I could hold the world in my hands for a minute. But I bet it would be heavy."
----
Logan: "I love the snow!"
Preston: "Why don't you put a ring on it?" (thank you, Beyoncé, for that! haha)
----
Brayden: "You know how when you're born you get some things from your mom and some things from your dad? Well I think I got my long hair from mom and my rolling around in bed and making a mess when I sleep from dad."
----
Logan: (pointing to his toes) "This is my thumb toe (big toe), this is my pinky toe (little toe), and this is my inappropriate toe (middle toe)."
----
Logan: "Mom, do you have a typewriter I can use?"
Me: "No, I have a computer though."
Logan: "Um, no, a typewriter would be much easier."
----
Me: "What color is the mud?"
Ashten: "Yuck!"
----
We were playing hide-and-seek
Me: "Ashten, I'm sorry I can't play anymore, I need to go make dinner."
Ashten: "That's ok, I'll play by myself!"
2013
Ashten: (after seeing a black man at the store) "Oh, it's an adoption!"
----
Brayden: "You know what girls do that's weird? They walk around in big groups and talk a lot and shake their heads around so their hair waves around."
----
Ashten: "When I grow up, I want to be a Barbie."
----
Preston: "Do you know why people in jail don't get dessert? Because they have been very bad and they don't deserve any treats!"
----
Ashten: "Has God or Jesus died?"
Me: "Well Jesus died, but then He rose again!"
Ashten "So He's alive right now?"
Me: "Yes"
Ashten: "Why?"
Me: "Because that's what God wanted."
Ashten: "Aw, that's cute."
----
Brayden: "I made a morning schedule and I have no time for fighting!"
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