When we received news that Ethiopia might shut down to international adoptions, we were crushed. It was hard news to take. Chris and I both processed it very differently, but I think we had the same underlying feelings. Feelings of doubt and and definitely a lot of questioning. But then after a few weeks, I think we also both came to the same conclusion: Ethiopia is where we're meant to be right now. We were both confident that it was from God, He can't disagree with Himself and so if we were both feeling led the same way, it was a good indication it wasn't from us. That and I know at least I had an overwhelming peace about it. A peace that we would still have a daughter from Ethiopia and even though there is a lot of uncertainty, God's got it! A peace that passes all understanding!
Now, this isn't to say that it's been easy. Even still, just this past week, we had a webinar for all families in the Ethiopia program with our agency and they were quick to say that nothing is for sure, now or ever. Doing what God wants is often scary and hard, and we've definitely had a lot of scary and faith-testing moments in the last two years that we've been on this adoption journey. And in this case, when we are being called to be still and wait, it's scary. It's scary to not know if one morning we will wake up to news of Ethiopia closing. It's scary to know we could wait another 2 years and then get that news before we even get a referral. Adoption is not for the faint of heart, I tell ya!!
I have found the only way to get through is to lay this all at Jesus' feet and put my trust in Him. Not just with my lips, but literally place all of my heart at His feet. He knows I long for our daughter, as in I want her home yesterday! He knows my heart, and I have to trust that He is going to have to clean up the mess of my heart if He calls me down this road and it doesn't end in a successful adoption. I trust Him. I also know that He loves our daughter too and He would not call us down this road if it were not for His glory and for our good. I trust Him!
Now, this isn't to say that it's been easy. Even still, just this past week, we had a webinar for all families in the Ethiopia program with our agency and they were quick to say that nothing is for sure, now or ever. Doing what God wants is often scary and hard, and we've definitely had a lot of scary and faith-testing moments in the last two years that we've been on this adoption journey. And in this case, when we are being called to be still and wait, it's scary. It's scary to not know if one morning we will wake up to news of Ethiopia closing. It's scary to know we could wait another 2 years and then get that news before we even get a referral. Adoption is not for the faint of heart, I tell ya!!
I have found the only way to get through is to lay this all at Jesus' feet and put my trust in Him. Not just with my lips, but literally place all of my heart at His feet. He knows I long for our daughter, as in I want her home yesterday! He knows my heart, and I have to trust that He is going to have to clean up the mess of my heart if He calls me down this road and it doesn't end in a successful adoption. I trust Him. I also know that He loves our daughter too and He would not call us down this road if it were not for His glory and for our good. I trust Him!
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